The Comparison Trap pt 1

I read a very interesting article recently on “The Comparison Trap” by Renette Pickering and it starts like this......
“All of us have fallen into the sinful habit of comparing ourselves with others. Whether we compare ‘up’ (to those who are better than us) or ‘down’ (to those worse off), we are exercising pride.......

From the onset, I’d like to say that I don’t think that some people are “better” than others or “worse” than others. They may be better at doing something than others but not a general statement that they are “better” because pride will definitely set in BIG TIME! Superiority and inferiority complexes will be rife, envy and jealousy sets in and instead of seeing people the way God intends, we’ll view people by worldly standards – how educated are they, how wealthy are they, which suburb do they live in, what car do they drive, how and where do they rank according to societies standards, are they quick thinkers or not etc, etc. When viewed this way, it’s all too easy to discard people as “not being good enough”. Similarly with temperament types, I feel there is no temperament type that is better than the other. It just depends on an individual’s preference as to whether they prefer sanguine, choleric, melancholy etc. God has created us in His image and likeness, with different gifts, personalities and talents. Each of us is unique and special – flaws and all.

Renette says Comparison is an issue and struggle faced by many Christians and may be excused as a ‘social skill’ –something done to measure the ‘pecking’ order in society and a process that motivates people to achieve more! It is a serious issue but, this trap can be avoided. There are two categories of comparison: looking up and looking down.
“When we look up at other women, we feel that those women are gifted, attractive or have achieved so much that we may resent them in our hearts. Our own gifts, attractiveness and achievements pale in comparison. We feel envy, bitterness and self-pity. And we foolishly ask, ‘Why has God given her so much and me so little?’ or even ‘Who does she think she is? Someone ought to bring her down a notch.’ Sound familiar? We become unhappy, dissatisfied and “discontented with the gifts God has given to us. In essence, we believe that God has kept the best for someone else, and He meanly and unreasonably withholds good gifts from us” hence the jealousy aspect.
“When we look down on others and feel superior to them, our spirits can be filled with self-righteousness, judgement and rivalry. The fact that we might suspect that we are better than others is something we seldom admit, even to ourselves.” ..............”Other factors that are triggers for comparison differ according to our stage in life, but always relate to our peers. We probably don’t really care if Oprah has bought yet another gigantic house, but if one of our close friends move into a more spacious home, we suddenly feel a tinge of jealousy.” Many “women seem to be prone to physical comparison. Young women look at their hair, clothes and figures. Older women see friends and think ‘she’s ageing well’ and they feel envious. Then there is competitive temptation around our children. Motherhood seems to introduce a whole host of new topics for comparison: whose child said a word first, or reached a certain milestone first, or can write or read already, or made it on such-and-such a sports team. The list is endless! Mothers often compare themselves with friends who do a particularly good job as moms. And grandmothers fall into this camp too. It’s one thing to be proud of our grandchildren, but quite another to feel a secret glee because they are, in our opinion, more beautiful or gifted than a friend’s.”

What we may not realise is that comparison distracts us and has a profound effect on us. Read more on pt 2 of The Comparison Trap
“So I say, do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” Romans 12:3
“Rid yourselves of all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.” 2 Peter 2:1

When you start comparing yourself to others and venturing into self-pity.......stop and think of all Christ has done and given to you.