Personalities pt 2

To what extent should one person control another, if at all? Interesting question! While it could be said that relationships are not democracies, neither are they dictatorships. It is important to seek a balance you're comfortable with within any relationship and to seek the ability to compromise, to tolerate, be flexible and give and take both ways is essential to healthy relationships.

Friendships and relationships are not built on who is in control but rather on mutual respect and listening to each other. This is something that controllers or manipulators find difficult. It is said that they are selfish at the core and pretty disrespectful. Controllers are also very jealous people who want to emotionally hurt you at every moment and attempt to sever your friendships - this is because they love attention or being at the centre of attention and having a grandiose image. Criticism comes spontaneously but if the same criticism is meted out to them, they have difficulty with it. Anyone bringing a complaint to or against a controller is likely to become the target of personal attack or character assassination. People who are not wise to their wiles may be manipulated into joining in on the attack, thinking they are joining in a just cause defending the controller against attacks of an enemy. Controllers and manipulators are masters of subtlety and get others to do their 'dirty work' thereby keeping their hands clean. It's like a 'Jeckyl and Hyde' personality. Ironically, the 'victim' knows that they are being illtreated and that there is a'gang mentality' at play.

The questions arises again, would anyone want this personality type to control them? To what extent should one person control another, if at all? Do these personality types exist in the church today? Yes, they do. It is said that controlling personalities cannot change. With God, ALL things are possible and He is able to change anyone at the core of their being. He did that for Saul in the Book of Acts and He can certainly do it for you and me.