Last week we looked at Strong Foundations. The foundations are Marriage Time and caring for One Another.
Closeness in marriage requires effective communication as all of us have a longing to be understood and loved by another person. Building intimacy involves communicating our feelings and letting our partner know who we really are on the inside.
Some cultures don’t encourage us to speak about our needs and longings. Interestingly enough this is the case in Kezi where husbands continually give instructions to their wives and the wives find emotional support from their mothers or their sisters. The culture doesn't seem to allow the wife to express her longings and desires. Another interesting fact that cropped up especially with the ‘older’ couples was how tradition or culture influenced and shaped their marriages and now we are bringing God into the picture or what seems to be a ‘better’ way. It’s definitely a more attractive or appealing way to marriage but as the saying goes, “It’s difficult to train an old dog new tricks.” With God, all things are possible.
Listening is just as important as speaking. It is one of the most important skills to learn for a strong marriage. Our spouse can feel loved, valued by just listening. James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” There are blockages and bad habits to listening and I guess we just have to practise listening in order to improve.
5 steps to effective listening:
1. Pay attention to effective listening
2. Try to put yourself in your partners shoes
3. Reflect back to them what they have said
4. Find out what is most important
5. Help them work out what they can do.
We look forward to next week’s topic on Conflict Resolution. This should be good!
By Molly Manhanga
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