Matthew 18:21 - 35
1. Understand the extent that we have been forgiven
- Our immense un-payable debt of sin has been forgiven BY GRACE (v24 & 27).
- Exodus 25:21 - 22 "And you shall put the mercy seat on the top of the ark, and in the ark you shall put the testimony (law) that I shall give you...........there I will meet you.......above the mercy seat."
- "God has moved us from the level of law up to the level of grace." John Arnott
- God deals with sin so thoroughly that we never run into it again v27
- Psalm 103:11 "as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us."
- Jesus deals with the sin and the sin-nature that caused it.
- 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
- When sickness is rooted in sin it is also dealt with (note: not all sickness is a result of sin John 9:2)
- Matthew 9:2 "he said to the paralytic, 'take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven."
2. Understand the extent that we are called to forgive
- Our own forgiveness is tied to our willingness to forgive others Matthew 18:35
- Our forgiveness is not to be surface level but from the heart Matthew 18:35
- Our forgiveness is to extend repeatedly - it's not optional Matthew 18:21
- Our forgiveness must extend until we can truly love and bless those who have wronged us "forgiveness = cut/release"
- If we do not forgive we deliver ourselves to the tormentors Matthew 18:34
- When we refuse to forgive we move ourselves back to the level of the law.
- Our forgiveness must extend to ourselves Matthew 22:39 "love your neighbour as yourself".
- "If you don't love yourself then God help your neighbour." Peter Jackson
3. Understand what forgiveness is not
- Letting time pass
- Being a door-mat or enabling an abuser
- Dependant on feelings (but it does involve feelings)
- Minimising ("the offense was not bad")
- Excusing ("the offender wasn't to blame")
4. Understand how to forgive - the process of forgiveness
Matthew 18:34 "if you don not forgive your brother from your heart." So the Holy Spirit has convicted me that I have not forgiven someone 'from the heart' what should I do?
- Acknowledge the offence - get in touch with your feelings. Do not minimise or excuse.
- Express your feelings to the person as if they were standing there in front of you. If it helps write them down first. Think about what effect their sin has had on you or others and tell them.
- Speak forgiveness to them for this sin. Picture Jesus in front of you and hand the debt over to Him.
- Tell God that you give up your right to judge, condemn or get revenge.
- Speak the truth to yourself to replace the lies. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak truth to you.
- Bless the person and ask that God will forgive them.
- For some people who have sinned against you extensively you will have to repeat this process as the Holy Spirit brings other things back to memory that you have not forgiven 'from the heart'.
- Sometimes you will know that you also need to go and speak to the person to challenge their behaviour.
- When you are in a relationship with someone who repeatedly sins against you, you will have to learn to lay down healthy boundaries and possibly even withdraw from the relationship. You can still do this while loving and forgiving.
- The offence was too great - the pain is too deep.
- I should withhold forgiveness until they ask for forgiveness - or they'll do it again.
- Forgiving someone will make me look/feel weak.
- It's too easy for them and unfair on me.
- If I forgive then I'm acting like a hypocrite because I don't feel forgiveness.
- I can't forgive because I will never be able to forget.
- God has wronged me - I need to forgive him
Adapted from Diane Spencer and Mary Jane Hall
Summarised handout
No comments:
Post a Comment