Grieving with Hope by Bill Hybels

Stephen and I, together with some family members, spent most of this morning at a funeral (the church and the cemetary). I had never attended a funeral like this before where 2 coffins were in the church at the same time with two lots of grieving families. Although the leaders of the church did their best, it made things somewhat impersonal and rushed!

The cemetary was quite an eye opener because of the numbers of people that were being buried during the course of the day. While we were at the cemetary, there were about 7 other burials taking place. Lots of people grieving for the loss of loved ones. When we were heading out, many more grieving families were coming to the cemetary to bury loved ones. It seems like death has become just "one of those things" - bury the person and get on with life!

Like anything else, we get over the loss, the pain etc and move on but, there is a grieving process we go through......

Bill Hybels says
"All of us will grieve at some point, but Christians should be grieving slightly differently to the world, because we have hope even in our times of sorrow. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 tells us that we will grieve, we will have our share of set backs and trials, tragedies and difficult losses. Jesus said we will know them in this world - you don't get excused because you are a Christ follower.

There is a conventional approach to grief:

1. Bury your feelings: act normal. Be brave.
2. Replace the lost ASAP: Focus on something new
3. Grieve alone: Don't bother them now, they need to be alone.
4. Give it time: Time heals, all by itself, in some mysterious way.
5. Never trust again; live with regret: Keep people out so that when they leave, their absence won't hurt you.

The conventional approach to grieving ....leaves us broken and wounded.

There is a Biblical process to grief

1. Feel your feelings: Don't put on a false image of bravado, don't discount your feelings or hope they will go away fast. Feel them however they come......like Jesus when he wept over Lazarus. He didn't bottle up His feelings; He embraced them.
2. Don't run from your pain: Don't think you have to just 'toughen up' and forget your hurt. Hang out in the sad place long enough to allow the full effect of the loss to settle in. Don't gloss over the pain.
3. Grieve with others: Scripture encourages us to grieve in community (Romans 12:15) The Bible has hundreds of texts that urge the broken hearted to band together. Grieving in community can offer long term healing. For those who are not grieving, I want to encourage you - miss a wedding if you have to, but don't miss a funeral. Your support is never forgotten. It builds the heart and values of a church, when we can become a community that grieves and loves deeply with each other.

The Biblical process takes us through the pain, but offers hope.

Adapted notes from "Grieving with Hope" by Bill Hybels

Read on to discover how to comfort people who are grieving........