Pre-engagement Course Feedback

Brilliant Khoza

It was good getting some feedback from Brilliant Khoza on the pre-engagement course that was hosted by Family Impact. Mpi and Rumbi Ndebele were part of the facilitating team. Brilliant went with his lady love - Sithabiso Tshuma.

There were 3 couples in total as others couldn't make it due to unforeseen circumstances. They spoke about the expectations of Christian marriages and those of traditional marriages. The main challenges identified for cultural marriages was lobola (bridal price), leaving and cleaving. What does culture say about lobola (dowry or bridal price)? When the bridal price is paid, the man and lady are considered to be married. The lady is told to move out of the house and go and stay with the parents of the 'husband'. Culturally, when the young unmarried couple have sex and/or if a child is born, the community view the young couple as 'adults' - as being a man and woman. They are given dignity by community leaders. The christian way is that you wait until you are married publically in the church or in court before you can live together. The two need to leave their parents and cleave to one another.

They also learnt about the importance of communication in marriage and purity. The couples then went on a one on one premarital counselling session.

The general feeling in the rural areas is that pre engagement and pre marriage courses are for urban folk. Brilliant felt that all young couples should go through these courses as marriage is ordained by God and people need to be ready.

On the 4th August 2012, Brilliant will be going to pay lobola (bridal price) to Sithabiso's family. We wish him well!